Playing with fire

I'm a bit of a disaster with fire. I thought about this the other day because of a minor incident with my heater. (For the record, there's still the occasional cold night happening at the moment.) I was just sitting there, watching TV, when a little puff of smoke came up from my shoe...

So, what other smeg-ups have I had? Only a couple, I suppose, but they were funny, or else I wouldn't be telling you. When I was still with my ex, I was cooking something in this crappy old saucepan he had. One of the handles had fallen off, and I had to hold on with an oven mit when I was stirring stuff. Then my ex comes along wanting attention - and getting it. Next thing I know, my hand is feeling quite warm... because the oven mit is on fire!

Last one: I used to have a gas oven, but the thingy to ignite it wouldn't work. I had to use one of those stove lighters to start it up, but one time it took a few shots to get it going, and the gas had built up quite a bit. There was a big fireball and I could smell burning hair... I discovered soon after that my eyelashes were a bit shorter than I remembered them being...