Stalking

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Something about a dude hanging about outside your window. But no. I'm thinking about sultanas... and raisins. Have you ever been munching on a delicious chunk of rum and raisin chocolate, only to have the experience ruined by a stalk? I hate it when the stalks are still on! I think we could create a marvellous employment opportunity, just by getting someone to take off all the stalks from our raisins and sultanas. Never again will we be dubiously eying our muesli after the appearance of a stalk!

Now here's another thing that gives me the heebie-jeebies. Round shoelaces. Not spherical, you understand - then they wouldn't be shoelaces - but the ones you get on boots, that aren't conveniently flat like sneaker laces. You can double, triple or quadrouple tie these buggers and they still manage to come undone! Can't we just have thinner flat laces for boots and stuff? Or an expert knot guy to sell them to us. I can see the promotion now 'free fisherman with every pair of round laces'. Thought it'd be more appropriate than giving away boy scouts...

And just to make your day, I'm going to have a rant about car parks, too. I've observed that road rules completely go out the window in car parks. Now I'd like to experience a noble, impressive death when my time comes, but somehow I know I'll probably just be squashed by some git while braving the 20 metres between my car and the shop to get my beloved iced coffee. Mayhap, if happen it must, it will do so on my way back to my car, and I'll get to go out happy - with a stomach full of that sweet, caffienated liquid.